In order to mitigate my total lack of knowledge of the transfer market, because let's be fair, Craig Brown (The departing Aberdeen manager) has an alleged encyclopedic knowledge of the game, I'm going to use Genie Scout to see if I can find any useful players who can slot into the team.
First things first, let's punt anyone who's shite, free up some wages so we can bring in players who aren't Chris Clark and Rory Fallon. According to Scout there's a dude by the name of Yoann Folly who seems to be quite good. Going to give THAT cunt a miss if it's all the same with you. French keeper by the name of Vincent Briant seems pretty mediocre... think I'll snap him up quick so I don't have to look at Langfield monging between the sticks every game.
Just for shits and giggles, let's look at Ozil, see if we can afford him. Nope. Not going to happen. Oh well, if you aim high you might hit the odd target... still, not signing Mr O this season.
Ozil: Not signing for the Dons.
Okay, season expectations... compete alongside the top teams. Seriously? You'll be lucky if we don't get relegated.
Oooooh... the board is prepared to give me a transfer budget of NO pounds this year. Well, thank you Mr Milne... maybe I WILL get Ozil after all. Still, I've lied to the board and told them I reckon I can win the league with this fucking shambles of a team, so I get 42 grand to spend on wages. Be still my beating heart... I can sign half an EPL player if I sack everyone at the club.
Okay, we have our new goalie in place, we've got shot of Clark and Fallon, we didn't sign Folly, and Ozil will have to wait until next year when our budget will stretch to a packet of Hobnobs (plain) and a nice shiny 50 pence piece for anyone who wants to play for us.
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