Okay... see, here's what just happened.
The next game had been played out to a thrilling, if fortuitous 2-2 draw between the might of Berwick and the Awesomeness of Aberdeen. It was a pretty pish match with nothing of note occurring, and I figured I'd just post the score and move on to the beginning of the season.
But I didn't save the game.
Then a tree fell down outside my house and knocked the power out. I'm not a religious person, but I'm taking this as a sign from God that he wants the match replayed and the report posted up online.
So, just for God, mind... and to ensure no more fucking trees come flying out of nowhere... I'm replaying the game (I have to anyway) and posting up the match report. Next time he could go after my first born, or dump locusts on my crops, or turn my wife into salt. Let's not fuck with the mythical superbeing, that's my philosophy.
Preseason Match 3: Berwick v Aberdeen
The teams are as follows. Click for a larger view.
The third and final preseason game pits the Dons against one of only two English teams to play in Scotland. Berwick Rangers. The other English team being Sevco, the newest team in the second tier SFL league structure.
And on a breezy July afternoon, the game kicks off... and Aberdeen score.
It takes a total of what, 23 seconds, for the Dons to pass the ball front to back, and hammer a tree-mendous goal from the edge of the area past the flappy McCaldon. That was quite good, actually. It's 1-0 the Dandies, and Berwick must be wishing they'd stayed in England.
For the next 13 minutes the Berwickites, Berwickonians, Berwickipedias... what do they call themselves... get tighter than a Japanese schoolgirl's legs in a room full of horny Muslim rapists. But this only last for so long, and a Pawlett pass into the box finds Milsom waiting to pounce for his second of the game. The man from England playing in Scotland, is on for a hat trick against the team from England playing in Scotland. That's quite funny, if you don't put too much thought into it.
Hi, I'm Rob Milsom and I'm only taking up half this picture.
No more goals come from either team in this first half, so it reaches half time Berwick 0 - Aberdeen 2.
Nicky Low's a bit tired, no doubt out on the lash the night before and has a heid like a broth pot, so Nial 'Goldenballs' McGinn O'Leprechaun takes over in the advanced midfield role on the left. Let's see how that works out.
Berwick look up for the second half, while Aberdeen look a little jaded. This is possibly because my half-time team talk basically called them a bunch of cunts, despite being 2-0 up. It was an attempt at reverse psychology that has backfired. Play rages towards the Dons goal almost unabated, but a quick break up the field sees, who else but Milsom smash the ball home for his third of the game. It's a one man show here today, and the English ginger overcomes both disabilities to show that even the most disadvantaged can be heroes.
3-0 The Dandies.
Outside I'm hearing a lot of chainsaws and heavy machinery.... hang on...
...Typical. They're removing the branches, and they've one guy working while three others look on doing fuck all. That's where my taxes are going ladies and gentlemen... paying four cooncil workers to do one man's job. This is what's destroying our industry.... that and the Unions, amirite?
After this the game basically degenerates into a series of wild and aimless passes that merit neither watching nor discussion. So that's that for the last preseason game of preseason. A solid 3-0 win, a hattrick for Milsom the Ginger English, and a fucking tree RIGHT outside my hoose that means I have to literally drive 3 fucking miles out of my way just to get to the end of my own road.
In summary, get it up ye, you Berwickisian pricks, and no more trees, please Jesus... I have bowed to your omnipotent fury and posted the match report.
All hail the angry Skydaddy.
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